What is Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety is a common emotional response that children experience when they are separated from their primary caregivers or from people with whom they have formed close attachment relationships. It is a natural part of development for many children, typically occurring around 8 months of age and peaking around 1 to 2 years old, but it can occur at any age.

When children are experiencing separation anxiety, they may feel upset, anxious, or distressed when separated from their caregivers. They may cry, become clingy, refuse to go to school or daycare, or have difficulty sleeping alone. These behaviors are often seen as a normal part of a child's emotional development and may subside as they get older.

However, in some cases, separation anxiety can be more severe and long-lasting, interfering with a child's ability to function and causing distress to the child and the family. In such cases, professional intervention may be needed to help the child and the family manage the anxiety.

How to help children during this phase?

There are several strategies parents and caregivers can use to help children with separation anxiety:

Prepare them in advance: Let your child know in advance when a separation is going to happen. Explain where you are going, when you will be back, and who will be taking care of them in your absence.
Practice separations gradually: Start with shorter separations and gradually increase the time away from your child. This can help your child feel more comfortable with being apart from you.
Develop a goodbye routine: Create a consistent goodbye routine that you do each time you leave your child. This can include a special hug, kiss, or wave goodbye.
Use transitional objects: Give your child a transitional object, such as a special toy or blanket, that they can keep with them while you are away. This can provide comfort and reassurance.
Stay calm and positive: Children are sensitive to their caregivers' emotions, so it's important to stay calm and positive when separating from your child. If you are anxious or upset, your child is more likely to feel the same way.
Seek professional help if needed: If your child's separation anxiety is severe or interfering with their ability to function, it may be helpful to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in working with children and families.

Remember that separation anxiety is a normal part of development, and with patience, understanding, and consistency, most children will gradually overcome their anxiety and become comfortable with being apart from their caregivers.

Resources for further reading

https://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/07/i-miss-you-and-thats-ok-toddlers-and-separation/

https://www.janetlansbury.com/2018/03/separating-confidence-clingy-child/

https://www.janetlansbury.com/2015/09/easing-our-childrens-transition-to-school/